Stop me if you think that you've heard this one before

Pardon me for this, but I'm still cranky, so the posts I crank out will naturally be such.

The human mind loves its creations to be praised and its efforts to go acknowledged. It's neuropsychology - the brain is a finely crafted organ that comes with reward centres and complex biochemical circuits that - essentially - makes us feel good when we know we're successful.

I guess, I'm longing for the feeling of success. Nothing positive has come my way lately, and I feel horrible about it.

Not doing too well in school, having a posting where I'm still struggling to make it productive, the disappointment of being able to flog myself to achieve what I ought to and most of all, the pervasive loneliness. They're mucking my mind up.

It's been a rather steady chain of things going awfully wrong. And somehow, it just all added up and made me feel really down when I was cycling in the middle of the roads, nearly bonking out from exhaustion. On a bicycle with headset bearings that had just started to show signs of real failure. Failure, it defines every aspect of my life these days.

People succeed. People fail. Without failures, there's no way to define success. I just gotta get it through into my thick cranial vault eh?

Such as how people walk in and out of the driving centre everyday. The whole gamut of expressions greet you.



The cheerful dude who had just passed his driving test.

The disappointed lady who had just failed hers. A satisfied grin on someone who had her confidence boosted several notches after doing well in her practice lesson.

And the downcast look of someone who had a bad day at work, only to mess up his practice lesson at the end of the day.

The joy of success and the pain of failure makes life, life - isn't it?

Oops...

WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Psychology/Sociology You should strongly consider majoring (or minoring) in Psychology, Sociology, or related majors (e.g., Counseling, Industrial-Organizational (I-O) Psychology, Social Work, or other social science majors). It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it. Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. Psychology and Sociology are both great minors to add to any major. Please post your results in your myspace/blog/journal. Psychology/Sociology 94% English/Journalism/Comm 81% Biology/Chemistry/Geology 75% Education/Counseling 69% Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health 69% Visual&PerformingArts 50% HR/BusinessManagement 50% PoliticalScience/Philosophy 50% French/Spanish/OtherLanguage 38% Religion/Theology 38% Physics/Engineering/Computer 38% Accounting/Finance/Marketing 25% History/Anthropology/LiberalArts 19% Mathematics/Statistics 6%

Megakaryocytes

XX says:
I just like megakaryocytes

kc is downed says:
lol

XX says:
they're just so darn cute

kc is downed says:
no they arent

kc is downed says:
they're huge and spit bits of itself around

XX says:
yeah

XX says:
that's cute

kc is downed says:
ewww

XX says:
for a cell

kc is downed says:
imagine a fat spitting guy

XX says:
my JC lecturer mentioned them

XX says:
yeah

XX says:
only for cells

XX says:
not for fat people

kc is downed says:
lol

kc is downed says:
thats double standards

XX says:
I'm a hypocrite

XX says:
so sue me

Sunday Bloody Sunday

The worst thing about Sundays are the impending Mondays.

I guess I'm feeling better - but not 100%. In other words, I feel like I'm getting fat, not getting the exercise I should and that's despite gorging down lotsa food in the hope that it'll help me build up those neutrophils and lymphocytes and feed the plasma cells which will get me better.


(Note: This is neither my blood, nor representative of my condition.)

==

Random note: The problem with mass media is that it makes hypertension and diabetes sound like extremely severe, disabling conditions which are a death sentence. Yes - I'm talking about drama serials and newspaper reports of sob-tragic-situations and etc. They forgot to mention. The point about hypertension and diabetes awareness is that the patients can CHOOSE to take action and keep it under control, rather than seeing it as a downward spiral.

'Do you have diabetes?'
'Oh no way. If I did I'd be dead by now!'

That's something you hear in the hospital wards all the time.

==

The cousin's computer is prolly dead. Sigh. And I just spent the day, reviving the hibernating Barton (a.k.a. a later generation of AMD AthlonXP chips) rig in my brother's room by cleaning up the RAM slots, then cleaning up the Core2Duo rig's innards.

Medical undergraduates are probably one of the best people you can find to fix a computer, as they have been trained through and through on the approaches to problem solving.

==

Argh. I think I need a good exercise and nutrition plan. Need to get leaner and meaner! Being KC Mk II rocks - with looking better comes popularity. It's so shallow but so true. And now I'm healthier and fitter. So, Project KC Mk III is planned and on the way!

Tiiiiiired / Chingay 2008 in Bishan

I fell asleep on my 'i' key. Sorry.

Been busy trying to revive my cousin's computer - and what I know so far is that it's either the RAM, motherboard or CPU that's lost its smoke.

Compaqs these days have been using pretty standard parts, which means that they're easily replaceable by off-the-shelf components. This is an Extremely Good Thing in my books. Remember the era when Dell had their proprietary power supply unit connectors and diskette drives were custom-made to fit the slot on the casing?

Plan: buy a stick of RAM and try it anyway, since it's a low-cost part anyway. If not, KIV replacement of motherboard.

==

SMRT Buses had better get its act together. This is hardly the first time I had to endure a ride in a bus with a broken-down air-conditioner. I swear I was feeling woozy breathing in the stale air. Hypoxia and hypercarbia anyone? I was so groggy in half an hour, I was drifting in and out of sleep.

It's pathetic. Even the buses in Thailand are way better, not to mention local bus operator SBS Transit which maintains its buses really well. The Mercedes O405 in their fleet are older, yet in way better condition than those under SMRT.

==



And here's some photos:



The thing about image stabilisation on cameras is that they're great for long exposure still photography, but fail the moment you try it on moving objects.



Everyone's bored waiting for the parade to happen.



Volvo B9TL, the incredibly advanced bus that has electronically-controlled everything - brakes, gearbox, engine, suspension, exhaust monitoring.















Night photography is never a forte of compact cameras such as the Canon A710IS. This is about as good as it goes, pushing the sensor to ISO800, managing with worrisome exposure times like 1/20s on moving objects - yes, mild panning was done on some of the shots.

There's a streak of arrogance in me, that believes that these photos would prolly pwn many of those by DSLR-toting camera-enthusiasts (NOT photography-enthusiasts).

This is Bad

I feel rather... septic.

Hey at least I now:

1. got a good reason to be PMSey
2. have probably found the cause of me being PMSey

Practically Floored

Bad day. It's one of the days where I doubt humanity itself. Human beings seem more and more like an idiotic bunch, much of the things we do in life is stupid and pointless, and there's currently not much to look forward to.

And my nose is blocked. And that weird pressure in my sinuses is back. And I'm having a headache.

I left my Nintendo DS by mistake at a relative's house. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

What A Mess

So, I haven't blogged for a while.

Suffice to say, the mantra 'no news is good news' held true up to Friday. School was alright. Learnt quite alot of stuff, got things done.

Friday - met up with Mystery Girl and Richie. Orchard on Friday evening is, like always, retardedly crowded. And sad. But still we managed to entertain ourselves, even though it was way too late for a movie after spending forever wrangling through the crowds to get some real dinner.

Photo is unglam. Oh fick it, I'll just post it anyways.



==

And obviously, I needed a haircut. So I got one on Saturday, at the newish place near my home. Turns out to be pretty sweet in the end. She got everything spot-on so that once I style it with wax, it looks great instantly. I think I'm going back there in future.



Hung out with schoolmates in the afternoon. They're a lovely bunch. My friend still hasn't uploaded the photos, but it was a blast! Turns out, Breeks Marina Square is way better than the one in Orchard.



But. Bad news.

Phone call. Uncle passed away. I've always felt that it was quite dangerous, him being depressed AND living on such a high floor.

Turns out, what everyone worries about but never talks about happened.

Made a couple of phone calls, assessed the situation and decided it was better I not join my parents at the uncle's place. Intruding into emotional, grieving scenes might be uncomfortable for everyone. Decided to hang around with my friends, rather than slinking off suddenly and wallowing in shock.

I'm not that very close to him. But when something like this happens, there's the lingering doubt. Could I have done something? Was it something I did or said that led to a convoluted sequence of events that led to the eventual tragedy? I felt guilty about not talking much to him the last time I was at his home. Felt guilty about the craziest of things - like how I might have accidentally messed up the floor of his place the other day. It's illogical, but who can deny the feelings we feel?

At that time, my mind was all: Unnatural death means post mortem. An autopsy. He's gonna go through that. I've seen an autopsy and I know it's going to be ugly.

But life has to go on. And it does. I was going to go on having fun hanging around my friends, because life goes on. I'm not a man of mourning and the neverending quest to seek closure. Things simply happen and we just gotta move on.

==


Traditional Chinese funeral rites. Pardon me. But I think they're fucked up. They go against every thing I believe in.

I believe in accepting what had happened, then moving on with life. Traditions insist that family and relatives drop everything they do - school, work, whatever - just to sit at cheap wooden tables whiling the time away around the deceased's coffin for days - and nights - and overnights.

And the old-fashioned Chinese never miss any opportunity to show off their wealth/concern/whatever, and they all compete to hold grander-than-thou funerals.

And joss paper burnt my deceased uncle's daughter's leg quite badly. As if losing a father ain't bad enough. The living shouldn't get hurt for the rituals of the dead. It's absurd.

What purpose is there to all these hurt?

It's silly. A man has died - It's a trying time for the family. Why make it so much harder than it should be?

==

For the record. If any cataclysmic tragedy occurs to myself. Please. I don't want a fucking funeral. Or any rites done on me or for me. Please don't desecrate the sanctity of my death.

Lather/Rinse/Repeat

The overall objective of the Elective Program is to encourage self-fulfillment in a special area of study/research under the guidance of a designated supervisor either in a local or overseas centre. Students have the opportunity to pursue areas of study or research that are of interest to them and beyond the traditional curriculum. The electives should not be mere repetitions of the usual curriculum postings. The elective period is also an opportunity for students to develop skills in independent, self-directed learning.

So which part of 'special area of study', 'are of interest', 'beyond the traditional curriculum' and 'not be mere repetitions' do my classmates not understand?

It seems like I'm the ONLY student taking this electives as intended, and am doing fields that mostly aren't covered in the basic curriculum. The rest are doing revision postings, or to use the Dean's office's words, 'mere repetitions'.

That's NUS culture for you. Prostitute yourself to the exams, screw interests, ignore passion and eschew academic pursuit.

==



Now that I've gotten this off my chest. I'm pretty fine with my first elective posting - so far. I'm getting some revision as I trundle along at a slow but comfortable pace, and I learn new stuff every day. Strangely, I don't feel as lost as I had expected to by doing this elective completely solo.

Everyone tells me it's a weird choice for an elective. Let's just say my mind is not just set on passing the exams and clinching the degree, but also scouting out my interests and future career possibilities.

==

I'm Mister Bulletproof and no one gets me down. No one at all. I've almost deduced that someone's indirectly trying to mess with my life/mind/whatever, but hey, you're doing a piss poor job of it all. Not that I care. But it's worth a few laughs.

==

I fell asleep on the bus. For the record, it's yet another SMRT bus with faulty air conditioning. Paid an air-conditioned bus fare just to get all sweaty. Go figure. And I drooled on my poor Crumpler bag. Ewwww.

Waiting

Waiting in line is one me the most boring things to do on planet Earth. I'm so bored I'm keying in a blog entry while waiting for lunch. First day of the new school season and it's going alright. Or at least, for now. And before I forget, I gotta buy a matching green tie!

Bored

Acrobatic goldfish.



Hungry terrapin.

Bored to death in uncle's house. And well, bored people do crazy things to relieve that boredom.



Presenting.... the first paper plane with all of:
High aspect ratio fixed wing with ailerons
Bent leading edges for high lift
Anorexically thin fuselage
Winglets
Horizontal stabilisers with elevators
Vertical stabiliser with rudder
Dihedral
Payload of 1 cashew nut (I think maximum load is more than that with some elevator trim)



It flies quite well for a paper plane, though there's no open spaces that I can use for further flight testing. What's impressive is that the plane weighs less than a sheet of A4 paper (lotsa paper removed from the sheet to create the high aspect ratio wing) but yet flies smoothly with a payload that's heavier than itself.

However, due to its length, I have to be very careful with the elevator trim and launch speed to avoid stalling it. Perhaps, adding slots in the trailing edge of the wing might help?

Argh. Back to school tomorrow.

Gusty

Riding the bicycle in this wind makes me feel like one of those pilots in the youtube videos where they have to land their aircraft in crazy winds. Turn into a bend, and the headwinds scream across your ears. Make the next bend, and find yourself trying to follow your line against the crosswind.

Oh crap my bike's making a ticking noise. Time for the bikeshop visit i guess......

Oh great. And my skin's appearing blotchy today. What a mess.

Happy Birthday, me

Well, when you're stuck with your parents doing Chinese New Year visiting, AND you're seeing the same relatives over and over, friction is bound to happen. Wear something for long enough, and chafing is an inevitable phenomenon.

Prolly one of the worst birthdays I daresay. Friends may have been great. Every time a friend remembers, it reaffirms my existence and my identity, and I get this warm fuzzy feeling in my heart. Thanks dudes.



But family friction is bad, and transcends it all. Knowing that my parents - the very people who brought me up - can be so obnoxious and idiotic at times is a painful experience.

Sigh. You know, I'm supposed to feel filial and grateful and all that stereotypical Asian 'values', but I really don't. Try as I may.



Electric Six may have rather mediocre music but their videos are good stuff.

Chinese New Year is cheesy

As a teaser, here's a cheesy Chinese-themed music video by 911, a cheesy boyband, that features yet another cheesy singer, Fann Wong.



Chinese New Year is a season of following stupid traditions (what with the opening the door to welcome some mysterious deity who supposedly will make you extremely prosperous at lotteries), overpriced confectionery (seriously, do pineapple tarts cost THAT much to make?) and cheesy forced conversation.

Relative: 'So you're going to be a doctor in a year eh?'
Me: Smile/shrug/act polite.
Relative: 'Do you have a girlfriend?'
Me: Bodily gesture to indicate denial.
Relative: 'Looking for one?'
Me: WTF.

Chinese New Year is an excellent time to enlist your computer savvy nephew (i.e. me) for a home visit to fix the computer. And an excuse to glean weight loss tips from the relative who looks slimmer than before (i.e. me) and to glean random medical advice from doctors-to-be (i.e. me again - see the trend?).

Guess where I was for most of the afternoon when they visited?

I had a good nap in my room.

Fare Cap

Maximum Journey Fare Cap

SBS Transit caps the maximum fare for a journey at $1.90, regardless of the number of bus transfers a passenger makes on its basic bus services. Transfers to each basic bus service must be made within 45 minutes. If the time to complete a journey is more than 2 hours and takes more than 4 transfers, commuters can claim for their reimbursements from any TransitLink Ticket Office during operating hours from the 11th to the end of the following month.

And this clause turned out pretty useful for me when today's itinerary was like this:



Svc 13: Bishan - Yio Chu Kang: Driving lessons



Svc 162: Yio Chu Kang - Upper Thomson: Collecting a registered letter, turned out to be a voucher for some freebies from Singtel. I renewed the internet subscription recently.

Svc 132: Upper Thomson - Orchard: Argh, they ran out of stock of the freebies and I'd have to wait until 3pm. Oh well, I have other places to go to.

Svc 54: Orchard - Bishan: Home. Lunch. A hurried one so that I could make it to the next bus within the transfer time limit.

Svc 74: Bishan - NUS: Bought that Haematology text for my elective posting next week, and it's like, the last day possible for me! Tardy, lazy, procrastinating me. Errands, photocopied stuff, etc.



Svc 95: NUS -Buona Vista

Svc 106: Buona Vista - Orchard: Finally got the freebies redeemed. Abalone, a can of shark's fin, a can of Buddha Jums Over The Wall, 2 bottles bird's nest. Stuff I don't exactly like but the family gushes about.

Svc 162: Orchard - Bishan: Whew. Home.

==

8 trips, 2 of which cost me exactly $0.00 after that fare cap. Any more bus rides, and you'd hafta smell my puke all the way through your commute.

Hanky panky at the toy section

==

Speaking of which, I had my virgin experience of clubbing on Friday night.

I don't like it. Call me a prude, but it's rather pointless there, just get shitfaced enough to feel like you're cool enough for the dance floor.

Paying so much just to get delusionally drunk. Ugh. Not to mention, it can totally mess up one's sleeping patterns. I'm a good boy; I go to bed before 1am. If I don't I'd be cranky the next day. It really isn't worth the crankiness for that, eh?

I think chilling out somewhere quiet is way better.

I just can't stand the blaring music tearing apart my eardrums.

And those who say that the best place to find a date is a club, I'm pretty sure they were quite drunk when they thought that.

I've come to the realisation that I'm a good boy!