Happy Christmas/Merry Newt Ear

The early bird catches the worm. No lack of worms and birds and monkeys over at my usual cycling route.

I've been bicycling compulsively - you see, I just gotta defeat them SPD pedals! And another ride, safe and sound.

And for the first time, I'm really feeling the so-called 'beauty' of SPD pedals - climbing suddenly felt more efficient. It forces me to lose my bad pedalling habits - I tend to let my feet go everywhere when I pedal hard using normal platforms.



Someone wasn't so lucky. I wonder what this Sixsixone plastic thingie is doing in the side of the road - Sixsixone is a brand of cycling and motorcross protective gear.

Some guy said good morning to me while he overtook me on his roadster. Replied with a grunt that was vaguely mouthed into a dry hello; I hate being overtaken, even if he's on a faster bike and trains more than me. It's a matter of pride.

It's a public holiday, and the only cyclists who come out to play are the serious ones - the very kind who will overtake me with just a couple of spins of the pedals.

Again, mortally exhausted as I put my steed back onto its stand in the balcony. I've never felt this battered in a long time - not since NS. Scrape on knee (it isn't healing well and exudating gross sticky discharge), muscles all achey and the general feeling of fatigue.

Overtraining makes me cranky, but hey the turkey and cake and stuff has gotta fuel something eh? I'm lean and mean KC, and I'm here to rip the roads apart. I swear my power/weight ratio has never been better.

I can just imagine myself, being so powerful that I could just gently lift up my handlebars and lift up from the road and into the clouds.

==

Hung out with Ryan at City Hall and Orchard, which were surprisingly empty for a public holiday. Pretty cool, meeting after not having met in months.



Just hung around while Ryan shopped, cause I was really bored at home and all, and anything is better than counting the grooves in the ceiling and reading the telephone directory.



Turns out, I prolly depressed the hell outta Ryan bitching about my life and all, it's sorta sad really. I can't help but to pollute the world with the vile aura I have.

Am I really that cynical and pessimistic? This sucks. Optimism has no place in my life because I don't freaking deserve to be so in the first place, being the failure that I am.

Every time I notice how alone I am, how little achievements I've raked in so far, the fugly self I'm stuck in, the way I'm never ever taken seriously, the people I could have been but will never be, a bit of the hope in me dies away.

I'm waiting for the day my soul gets whittled down to nothing.

==

Oh screw it, it's just a passing phase. Please tell me it's a passing phase.