Lurgee

Every time I wake up from a long nap, I feel like something in my life is missing. It's an inexplicable feeling.

First, I wake groggy and disoriented. Then this wave of emptiness engulfs me. It dawns on me that I'm spending my weekend in my room. Alone.

It's sad.

I've pretty much found myself cocooned up most of the time. It's not like I'm hiding away from the world, but the world doesn't seem to want to look me in the eye any more.

I wish I had friends I could just hang out with, maybe for a movie or a coffee, at just a spontaneous whim.

I wish that whenever I ride my bike, there'd be more to hear than just the roar of the wind and the soft whirr of the chain and gears. I wish I could be the sweeper who's just there unnoticed at the rear, making sure all my mates are safe and sound.

I wish I could just share my experiences with anyone who's nice enough to care.

I wish I were an object of one's desire. I wish I were loved. I wish to love.

I wish I knew more people like me.

That's a lot of wishes there, and I don't even know where to start. It's just so much easier hiding in my room.