I should write for Top Gear

Was chatting with Richie on whether he should get:



The black Nokia E71.



Or the white Nokia E71.

This is how I would describe the white E71:

Imagine a glowing yellow Lamborghini Gallardo. Designed with elegance in mind. Imagine its flowing lines, the aesthetically sculpted air intakes.

Now imagine the furry powder blue steering wheel cover.

The Nokia E71 is designed with elegance and style in mind - thin, sleek, professional. It comes in a black version, bringing a classy, iPhone feel to it. And it comes with a white version with obvious design cues from my Electrolux washing machine.

Don't get me wrong - I have nothing against white. White is cleanliness. White is simplicity. The designers of the iPod and the Victorian architects had used that to their advantage.

But white is also the colour of a 5 year-old's undies. And cluttering the design of anything white with its numerous keys and trims is like smearing the said 5 year-old's undies with skid-marks.

Don't buy the white E71, unless you cherish those fond memories of parenthood and its aroma of skid-mark removing Clorox.

==

Richie, Kieran and I threw about some ideas for a gadget Top Gear:

- Clock the Segway on the Nurburgring

- Benchmark the Panasonic Toughbook using typical Top-Gearesque torture tests involving explosives, crashes and spectacular mountain/sea/etc scenes.

- 'Will it survive a drop?' - every week, a gadget will be dropped from a height of 1 storey and tested to see if it still works. Gadgets on the list: iPod, mobile phones, notebook computers, CRT monitors, Blendtec blender, vacuum tube amplifiers, microwave ovens

- Wacky product comparisons - Which mobile phone will work best if you're stuck in a freezer and need to phone for help? (Since the freezer is metal it would put the signal reception of the phone to test, in addition to its cold weather capabilities.)

- And the pièce de résistance - Celebrity iGallop

Now all we need is funding! Interested investors, please click the comments link below and post your quotations.