Monday, September 17, 2007

I needa vent

Today's pretty OK.

Because yesterday, I learnt to be who I really am. If I don't let the things around me affect me, then they won't. Build up a mental fort, and nothing gets in my way.

I could pretend to be the pained pathetic victim, or I could cut out the things or people or whatever that make me feel like pretending to be one.

Pulling the mental weeds from my mind, it feels good. The best way to be happy is, to understand the thoughts that had made me unhappy, then pare them off one by one. Sometimes it's painful to do that. Sometimes disabling. But like a cancer, if I don't get rid of it early, it'd just grow.

Today, I don't look too shabby. Got my hair done just right, nothing particularly fugly about myself.

Read Kua Ee Heok's An Undefeated Mind in one breath on the bus, and I gotta say, it definitely is more readable than at first glance. It's quite inspiring, the humanity in medicine and psychiatry and stuff. And you can sorta glean from the book, just what exactly makes doctors tick?

Start of a new posting in school, everything's a fresh slate. I feel clean. I feel pure.

School's pretty boring. But having best buddy classmates by me during the lectures, it makes me feel like all those little troubles in life. they don't really matter. And very little is less entertaining than snapping random artyfarty photos when you're bored to tears in a lecture.

And supposedly QY's girlfriend says, I don't look too bad. Dunno to trust that or not, but I guess, maybe hermithood/lonerhood/singleness isn't my destiny after all. Yay.

Things, they sorta fall into place.


But right now I'm really peeved.

My Acer notebook has been developing posterior vitreous detachment symptoms - insidious slow-growing black spots growing on the LCD that seem to come with age.

Time to haul it to the service centre. Sigh.

Why do things always gotta die in my hands?

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