Friday, August 31, 2007


Not gonna spoiler it for you. Other than that this is a really ueberly, excellently fantastic Pixar work about a rat who cooks.

Grade: A+

Watch it dammit, it's an order.


Shit hits the fan regarding school. Group may be in really deep trouble. The medical profession is riddled with bigshots who behave like childish little kids.

Watched Ratatouille with classmates. They had to rush off, leaving me to prowl Orchard alone. Got quite a good catch at the library, including Train Man and J. G. Ballard's Crash.

Day generally still crappy. Feeling like I'm living my life behind a glass wall, watching the world go by while everyone ignores me, and I just can't reach out beyond that cage.

Only little kids bother to make faces at the fish in the tank.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

A Morning in Mandai

I kid you not. They're sweat droplets. Damn you, steep hills.

And school. And bad weather. And a feeling of general crappiness, like I'm walled up in my own mind, and no one really notices me struggle or cry out. I just wish someone can just understand that behind the charade, I want to have someone to truly talk to. That's all I want. Right now.

I act OK and fine because it doesn't profit me to show my weakness.

Peasants, Pigs and Astronauts

Every waking moment, from the moment I lay on the bed staring at the ceiling dreading the day ahead, to the long lonely moments on public transport to the hectic hours fighting fires in the day, there is something that pervades my thoughts.

I'm disgusted at myself.

I'm sly, vindictive, selfish, evil and after having long given up on the goodness of humanity, the logical part of me has decided to ditch the traditional tenets of honour, courtesy and respect and do what benefits me instead.

You see, I don't have a choice. If one were to stick to all these intangible values while the rest of the world gets ahead doing only what benefits them, then we'd be on the losing end. So what if I'm honourable? Really, no one cares.

We don't kill our competitors because the prospects of getting caught is worse than the profit of the murder.

However, if you sell groceries, would you tell your customers that that pack of milk had been sitting in the back of the fridge for weeks and is about to expire? Probably not. It's beneficial to hoodwink the customer. The customer probably never notices, you earn your money, everyone's happy. Screw honour.

And I'm feeling particularly dirty, because I certainly would do what the grocer does. As much as I feel a visceral disgust of myself doing it, it's going to benefit me. Believe in honour, and I only stand to lose out.

I rebuke old ladies on the bus when they push, because I believe in making them toe the line. It's beneficial to me in the long term. Respect for the elderly? Bah.

I cut the queue when getting up crowded buses. Because it's only beneficial. If I don't, I'd lose out to the others who don't believe in queues.

I seek revenge because it gives me hedonistic pleasure. So what if it's hurtful and nasty? It's beneficial for my happiness and gives closure to unhappy situations. Step on my toes and I'll hurt you twice as bad, because yea, it feels soooo good.

Has living in Singapore made me so cold and jaded? I have to admit, I'm pretty shocked and disgusted at what I've become. My classmates who study overseas, well, they're still good people and all.

I find it difficult to be at ease, living as an asshole. Maybe one day the guilt would do me in and I'd kill myself for the greater good.

But at least being selfish benefits me. You know, whatever they say about nice guys finishing last isn't just lyrics from a pop song.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Subterranean Homesick Alien

1.(the person who tag you is …)
- Richie

2.(your relationship with him/her is …)
online turned real life friend

3.(your 5 impressions of him/her ..)

leet, better than me, leeter than me, greater than me, leeter

4.(the most memorable thing he/she had done for you)
- SLS!

5.(the most memorable words he/she had said to you)
- 'follow the scent!'

6.(if he/she becomes your lover, you will..)
- nah

7.(if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be)
- wtf

8.(if he/she becomes your enemy, you will…)
- be sad?

9.(if he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be …)
- immaterial?

10.(the most desirable thing you want to do for him/her now is …)
- talk cock on MSN

11.(your overall impression of him/her is …)
– one that is positive

12.(how you think people around you will feel about you?)
- 'gee, what a loser'

13.(the character you love of yourself is …)
- I'm a plyr h8r

14.(on the contrary, the character you hate of yourself is …)
- I can't get along with the hoi polloi

15.(the most ideal person you want to be is …)
- Daniel Radcliffe

16.(for people that care and like you, say something to them ..)
- 'Hi to nobody!'

17.(pass this quiz to 10 people that you wish to know how they feel about you)
1. Richie
2. Ryan
3. Jujube
4. Cong

5. Gerald
6. JS
7. Aik Seng
8. Jan
9. Kate

10. KC

(who is no.6 having relationship with?)
- how do I know?

(Is no.9 a male or female?)
- Female

(If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?)
- Nah, Aik Seng won't gay me for sure.

(How about no.8 and 5?)
- Outlook uncertain. Try again later.

(What is no.2 studying about?)
- Erm, I dunno?

(When was the last time you had a chat with no.3?)
- About a week ago?

(What kind of music band does no.8 like?)
- Ermmmmm... Pussycat Dolls?

(Does no.1 has any siblings?)
- Nah.

(Will you woo no.3?)
- Erm.

(How about no.7?)
- Nah, Aik Seng won't gay me for sure.

(Is no.4 single?)
- 'It's complicated'

(What’s the surname of no.5?)
- L***

(What’s the name of no.10?)
– KC

(What’s the hobby of no.4?)
- Movies!

(Do no.5 and 9 get along well?)
- They don't know each other.

(Where is no.2 studying at?)

(Talk something casually about no.1)
- Engineer.

(Have you try developing feelings for no.8?)
- Nah, I never 'try'.

(Where does no.9 live?)
- Singapore

(What color does no.4 like?)
- Never thought to ask

(Are no.5 and 1 best friends?)
- They dunno each other.

(Does no.7 likes no.2?)
- Nah, Aik Seng won't gay him for sure.

(How do you get to know no.2?)

(Does no.1 have any pets?)
- No, but lotsa pet peeves.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

3 Songs

As I really have nothing to blog about for now, other than how I ran 6km today (yay) and saw all sorts of eye conditions and procedures (yeah, including LASIK) during my attachment today:

Enjoy these 3 songs I've picked all for you.


The Twang - 'Either Way'

The Libertines - Time For Heroes

Monday, August 27, 2007

By Starlight

Exceedingly mundane days. Chasing buses to get to lessons on time. Lectures. Attachments. You know, the works.

I'm numbed.

A numb soul doesn't have much to say.

So thus concludes this blog entry.

Dead eyes, are you just like me?

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Electro-shock Blues

To add to the torment of having too much good food to eat: My family had just bought a swanky Panasonic microwave oven with steam+convection+grill+microwave features.


And it has an IR sensor built inside so you can heat up stuff to the nearest 5 degrees Celsius.

Ueberly leet.

And in order to discover the true leetness of it, me and my family will be cooking alot with it.

I'm gonna be a fat, full contented boy!

Tiny Cities Made Of Ashes

I gained 2kg, which means, in The Battle Against Tasty Food, I have to humbly admit defeat.

Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. Of the memorable foods that contributed to that 2kg in the past few weeks:

Raw fish noodles from Chinatown food centre next to Outram MRT
1A chocolate puff
Delifrance pandan and 9-grain muffins
Spring chicken
Random snacks mom bought from Malaysia
Roti prata
Chocolate milk
Kit Kat Chunky

The million dollar question. Live unhealthily and happy, or healthily and missing out on all that great food out there?

I don't even know.

But I know that added 2kg is starting to worry me a little.


Actually it's not much of a worry. I'm convinced that part of it is muscle weight. This morning I speeded up the hills on my bicycle like a jet plane taking off. I've been exercising a respectable amount.


Eating more food drives me to exercise more. Which is a good thing, as more food + more exercise = muscle. And oh well, there's a bunch of medical evidence that states that exercise is more beneficial than just diet control.

It's a reverse pyrrhic victory. I might have lost the battle. But I won the war.

Yay. Godly godly me.


Been catching up on sleep. Cutting down on caffeine. Sometimes it scares me seeing how worn and tired I am in the mirror - and that's after getting 7 solid hours of sleep every night for the past few nights. Bleagh. Did someone, like, steal my sleep?


I guess somehow, I'm not the sad whiney piece of shit I was a few weeks back. Heck. I dunno. I don't even know who I am anymore. I'm too easily influenced.

Saturday, August 25, 2007


Being the bored, swinging single that I am, I'm going out with mom for a movie! She'd been wanting to watch 881 and so, I'm accompanying her.

Oh did I mention? I'm a Simpsons fan.


Another photo to add to my collection of Windows error messages on public display.


Call me incredibly WOLS. But I'm finally watching it, and truth be told, I'm pretty impressed by it. You know how most local movies literally scream 'HEY WE ARE MAKING IT SO DAMN OBVIOUS THAT WE ARE TRYING TO CAPTURE THE SINGAPOREAN FLAVOUR BY ADDING IN OFFTOPIC VIGNETTES OF HEARTLAND SINGAPORE SO GIVE US AN AWARD. OR TWO. OR THREE.'? This doesn't. Which is pretty impressive by itself.

With solid directing and a not-so-solid plot, Royston Tan manages to engage the audience without making them feel patronised by the localness of the film.

4 out of 5 stars. Because anything less would do an injustice to the fluidity of the movie. No kudos to their corny laser scenes though. There's an element of absurdity to the movie. It doesn't detract from the plot itself, but somehow, it just doesn't meld in to the rest of the story.

Especially with Qi Yiwu playing with his cock throughout the film.


Off to Toa Payoh.

There's an advertising campaign. They're giving out cash if you SMS the code seen on one of those adtags-on-legs.

Erm, cash?

Yes! Cash! My mom and I got $2 each for doing that SMS thingie and filling up a form with our phone number and stuff

Courts Toa Payoh, mom wanna look at microwave ovens. There's radio deejays doing some event there.

Current day microwaves do all sorts of cool stuff. They bake, they grill, they defrost, and nowadays they got new ones that steam (you put water into a compartment and it literally steams the food inside) and some even have this cool infrared sensor thingie inside so that you input the target temperature rather than the cooking time on the microwave control.

What can I say? Leet. But needless to say, these newfangled things are way expensive.

The Singapore Pools queue. It's sad really, so many people habitually queuing up just for a shot at fortune. Doesn't help that there's a really strategically placed banner for a pawn shop...


Did I mention? Delifrance muffins are going at only $1 and are ueberly tasty. They're big, sugary, pandany and muffiny. And not to mention, cheap!


Oh noes! I think I gained another kg! All that fat-burning goodness of this morning's run had just been annihilated!

Warm Machine

Thursday night. Rainy. And decided to call it quits for the day and hit the bed hoping to wake to a new tomorrow, because dark stormy nights are Not A Good Thing.

My table got wet and stuff because of the strong winds and rain. Bleagh. It just takes 1 thing like that - one superficial and reversible problem like that to send me down the spiral of despondency again.

Doubting my existence. Doubting everything. Might it be that the very years that I had lived had come to naught?

Oh whatever. I'm rambling. Just like that drone in my head. Anyway a good night's sleep fixed that.

I'm satisfied. I can do it all my own. Fixing my own demons in my head, I mean.


School. Friday. And I guess, more than ever, I'm appreciative for the classmates that I have. Especially those who've transcended the classmates compartment to the friends compartment, and even more so those in the 'dependable friends' compartment.

I ought to be a happy camper. Truth be told I'm not really feeling down or anything lately. Just that I've totally volatile. Good news can make me totally ecstatic. When bad things happen, I crash so low it's doubly painful.


I guess I don't remember much of Friday, except for turning in really early again.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Burn Baby Burn

QY was a great enough friend to tag along to the bikeshop with me for BOTH trips there. So this time (with some coercion) I tagged along with him to Wheelock to buy his Birkies!

Birkenstock is a German manufacturer of sandals and shoes, which is known for their quality and designs. Their products are made in Germany, no less.

Pricey though.

After QY took 2 and a half forevers to decide which colour/size/model to get, we just walked along Orchard crapping about random stuff and trying to fulfil his neverending quest to find his dream expensive watch.

Other than watches, QY shares many interests as me - bicycling, photography, etc. But his personality is, like, totally different from mine.


On to the maiden ride on my new wheels and new pedals! Not mention new tubes! And they're filled with maiden air from the new pump!

The bike accelerates a little faster, and climbs a mite more easily, but nothing dramatic, really. I no longer feel the vibration of the pedal bearings against my feet. I wasn't expecting much to begin with, as they're mainly replacements to ageing parts rather than upgrades.

Oh. And the pump rocks, cause I'm easily able to reach higher pressures with it. As it's a floor pump, you use your whole upper body strength to pump it, which means that you're able to inflate tyres really quick. Be warned though, pumping tyres quickly can become a strenuous workout that leaves you breathless and slumped on the sofa.


I hate young BMW drivers. One almost wrecked my bike, right turning halfway into the road while I was minding my own business, going straight along the road.

No offense. But if you're a young driver in a BMW, you're marked. I'm going to be extra wary and suspicious of you unless you prove yourself otherwise. Too many bad experiences.


Weather deteriorated soon after my ride. And then it rained.


Know why I'm getting fat?

Mom bought a shitload of snacks from Malaysia the other day. Of which, all taste AMAZING.


Lack of sleep. There's too much fun too be had, too little sleep to be had on public transport.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Bicycle Race

My bike is out of the metaphorical hangar! After lotsa cleaning, lubing, adjusting and all. From the chain to the gears to the brakes to the alignment of the handlebars. Down to every detail.

You gotta maintain a bicycle as meticulously as one would do to an aircraft. One mechanical failure can mean the difference between an uneventful ride and a fatal accident.


Monday: Disassembled rear wheel. Got ready for the new wheels.

Tuesday: Bought new wheels. And pedals. Pedals went on really smoothly without a hitch. Not to be arrogant, but it's only expected from someone who can write a guide on overhauling pedals.

As for the wheels. Didn't notice they're drilled for Presta valves rather than the usual Schrader valves. Argh fuckfuckfuck I can't assemble them when the valve can'e even fit!

Wednesday: Bikeshop again. 3 inner tubes (always helps to have a spare) with Presta valves. And a nice cool Park Tools floor pump which I had been coveting for a while.



Wheels are Sun Rims 0 Degree XC laced to XT 2007 hubs. Schweeeeet.


I'll report back after my maiden ride on those wheels!

Monday, August 20, 2007

Blurry Eyes

Hung out with Cong at Bugis last nite, talked a whole lot about life, the universe, everything. I'm glad for friends. They whittle away my cynicism and angst. Even if I'm living my life vicariously through their experiences, I learn that hey, if other people can experience some good in humanity, there is hope left for me. Yay!


It's Monday again. Not to diss NUS or anything, but telling students by email Monday morning's reporting time on sunday evening is simply not acceptable. And that comes from a university that purports itself as world class.

Bah. On to the good old bus. A nap later, and I'm off to my new clinical attachment. Ophthalmology. The study of the eye. Interesting stuff learnt:

1. LASIK is actually safer than what one usually assumes ('OMG it's an op! It gotta be ueberly dangerous!') as the cumulative risk of wearing contact lenses over years is high.

2. Direct opthalmoscopy is way harder than imagined. But. Well. Still do-able.

3. Playing with the instruments and methods they use to evaluate strabismus (crossed eyes) I realise I have some mild exophoria. Prolly explains why when I read a book, I often end up with double vision and just use one eye to read eventually. Argh.


Busy day! Lunch was at 5pm. And call me suckered, but I bought mini hot pot noodles. It's just soup with meat and egg and crabsticks and fishballs. But with an ueberly cool flame at the bottom of the pot that continues to cook the stuff inside. And I just can't seem to photograph the flames nicely.

Bus ride home. In time to view the Braddell Road sunset.

Bumped into my secondary 2 teacher on the bus. Cool! But do I have to be reminded again and again that I look different nowadays? Sigh.


Getting the wheelset soon! Already prepped and cleaned up my bike to do so.

Thanks Togoparts for letting me win this book the other time! Comes in really useful when you wanna refer to something accurate and clear before you get your hands dirty.

They have some pretty funny diagrams.


I'm tired and sleepy!

Sunday, August 19, 2007

The Pillows - Wake Up Dodo

Thanks Richie for the song!

The NPNT post

No pics, cause I can't be assed to take many. And those that I did take, I can't be assed to postprocess them.


And I'm aching all over from this morning's bike ride. Winds aren't too bad, but the air was so cold and damp, water condensed all over my handlebars and speedometer, which is a first in all the years I've been cycling.

I still feel inadequate when roadies overtake me. Granted, they spend way more than I do on their bikes, they're more serious about the sport and they prolly train everyday.

But still, I feel a tinge of regret. It could have been me, decked out in flashy cycling apparel and overtaking them.


My rear wheel's gotten more wobbly lately. Is it cause I pump my tyres to near upper limit? (Going almost exclusively on the roads nowadays, I need the reduced rolling resistance.)

Think I gotta shell out the moolah soon to get a new wheelset. Next week, hopefully.

And maybe a saddle. And maybe new pedals.


Yesterday's practical exam is nothing short of scary. I dunno how I did. Probably not very well. Left out some glaring points, and it definitely shows that I haven't been reading up much or learning much about surgical procedures (which I know I'm not gonna do in future anyway, why bother?).


There's this go-karting fever in Singapore. And I'm keen to try it out. Anyone wanna join me?

Curious though. Will it give me the same kinda adrenaline rush that mountain biking usually gives me? If yes, bring it on, baby!

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Shadow of the Day

Yeah I'm still alive.

Just not very.

I'll blog when I'm happier.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007


I'm still PMSey.


Generalities: I'm still alive, kicking, well, moving all my limbs, not showing any signs of distress or illness.

But deep down inside. The proverbial skeletons have come alive, gnawing at the wires, tugging at them.

Unresolved issues. I hate telling some friends a set of lies and other friends another. I have too much to hide. I know it's beneficial for me to hide certain uncomfortable truths, but this is too much.

I must do something about it.


I'm getting fat, argh.


Running off the fat doesn't help much if I'm eating so much lately.


Planning a holiday to Kuala Lumpur, a quick weekend getaway some time when I'm more free. Overnight train on Friday night, then back on Sunday night.

Train isn't too cheap if you take it from Singapore (at about SGD $40) but if you ride it from JB you pay only 40 ringgit or so. Problem is, you gotta take a 500m walk in a high-crime area.

However, overnight coach is even more dangerous. (Recently, a bus crashed at night and 20 died, you get a fatal intercity bus crash in Malaysia about once a year.) But more comfortable by loads.

Decisions, decisions.

Come to think of it, I don't even know who will be willing to join me on a weekend trip to KL. Need at least 4 to make up the numbers, and oh well, the world thinks I'm crazy so I doubt anyone would trust me to plan out a holiday...


But I know I want a quick getaway. All the same.

Monday, August 13, 2007


Just some mostly-disorganised rants.


I officially have a beef with the weather. It's hot sometimes, rainy at other times, and always windy.

Managed to sneak in a bike ride in the morning before the thunderstorm ravaged on into the night. The roads were pretty devoid of cyclists for a Sunday morning - is it the recent bad weather?

In any case, the headwinds were a pain to fight, the tailwinds literally made me fly at 40kmh along Kallang river without even trying, and having crosswinds while going downhill at speed is nothing short of scary. You don't want to find yourself leaning to the far right and trying to get a steady grip on the brakes at the same time.

Strong winds from the south in the morning are characteristic of Sumatras (further explained here) which means, expect thunderstorms later in the day.


Blogs by doctors and medical students in Singapore are a disgrace.

They're all like, 'hey phe4r me because I'm leet enough to pepper the blog with medical terms you minions can't understand'.

And 'I'm saving the world and I have the right to blog like I'm a war hero. Oh, you being an outsider, you'll never understand how good and angelic we all are.'.

Or 'I'm into high fashion and the lifestyle of the rich and famous because my dad is loaded. Oh you don't know the brand names I talk about? You're just too lowly to be a reader of my blog then.'.



Revision's going nowhere. Fuck.

I end up getting distracted and reading up other fields of medicine. Everything except the subject I'm going to be tested in. Needless to say, this isn't one of those fields I'm going into.


I'm PMSey lately.


I made black pepper pork chop. With a gargantuan slab of pork fillet. Note to self. Leaving frozen meat in the fridge, even for 4 hours, won't defrost it. At all.

Speaking of fridge. My family has gone totally insane with carton juices and milk.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Doomsday Clock

So here I am, back on the blog with some quick words on the music that I've sampled lately.

The Enemy -We'll Live and Die in These Towns
Hailing from Coventry, UK, this indie rock band is a yet-another-pleasing-to-the-ear-band-that-I-don't-find-special-enough-to-like. You probably have heard Away From Here, if you're into UK Top 40 music, and really, that's their only stand-out track.


Velvet Revolver - Libertad
Liked Velvet Revolver? I vaguely recall back in the early 2000s, there were supergroups being formed - Audioslave (of Rage Against The Machine and Chris Cornell), Zwan, Alter Bridge, etc.

And there was Velvet Revolver, which was Guns n Roses plus Scott Weiland from the Stone Temple Pilots. It was a moderate success, partially hampered by the fact that they had paid so much tribute to 80s hard rock that the album Contraband was behind its times. I gotta admit, I didn't like them enough to buy the CD; rather I had won it from a BigO Magazine contest.

This time round, Libertad takes the 80s hard rock tribute another level further. Like it or not, it's your call. They're more polished, more professional, more engaging.

But more 80s.

The Smashing Pumpkins - Zeitgeist

The Smashing Pumpkins had gone thru alot. They split back in 2001, and now they're back.

Oh wait, is it true? Actually only Corgan and Chamberlin's left, and it's no surprise this album sounds more like Billy Corgan and the Jimmy Chamberlin Complex. Don't fret too much, it still sounds much like Smashing Pumpkins from the Machina era. Not too bad actually.

Just that I doubt if it'll stand up to repeat listens. Personally, I never liked Machina, and I don't see myself liking Zeitgeist.


As for life itself, as in, my life:

School's going ok, easier than expected by a smidgeon. And National Day weekend sales rock. Robinsons had a 20% off which I wisely used to buy a red Nike tee. And Royal Sporting House Funan was selling Reebok running shorts at 2 for $30. Yay.

Weather's crappy though. Hot. Wet. Hot. Wet.


Today. Helped out with the morning grocerying.

Which reminds me. There's this article in the Straits Times about how they're going to raze down Queen's Pier and Graham Street market, in the name of development.

Depressing really. Those places are rustic and authentic, way more than anything in Singapore can be. Wet markets where you can actually see - and smell - the live produce. Colonial architecture, untouched by the meddling hands of redevelopers and commercialism.

Sigh. In the battle of city space, the one with the most moolah is invariably the winner.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

The writing's on the wall. I'm becoming a poseur, and I know it.

The very people I despite - those who use superficiality, appearances, fashion, popularity to get through life - that's what I've become.

I'm harder, better, faster, stronger and I'm proud of it.

While I'm not the fittest around, I'm way ahead of what I was. Today I just broke my chin-up record by 2 and well, I know I'm a pretty decent hill climber on my bicycle. I'm somewhat lighter and somewhat stronger, bringing my power-weight ratio to a new high.

Gosh. I sound like a freaking advertisement for a sports car.

And I'm better dressed than many. And I'm tanned. I rock.

Just a year back, I looked like crap and no one took a second look at me. Now, girls - and even guys - take a second look at me (you know you're guilty of it), sales assistants are friendlier to me (I didn't use to have 10 min conversations from just buying an article of clothing), everyone literally bows down to the Adonis that I am.


At the end of 2005, I told myself. I'm gonna make myself fitter and leaner and handsome, so that I can prove the world how superficial and absurd it is, treating me nicely just because of superficial things like these.

Looks like I've succeeded! Screw you, shallow, superficial world!