Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Stop me if you think that you've heard this one before

Pardon me for this, but I'm still cranky, so the posts I crank out will naturally be such.

The human mind loves its creations to be praised and its efforts to go acknowledged. It's neuropsychology - the brain is a finely crafted organ that comes with reward centres and complex biochemical circuits that - essentially - makes us feel good when we know we're successful.

I guess, I'm longing for the feeling of success. Nothing positive has come my way lately, and I feel horrible about it.

Not doing too well in school, having a posting where I'm still struggling to make it productive, the disappointment of being able to flog myself to achieve what I ought to and most of all, the pervasive loneliness. They're mucking my mind up.

It's been a rather steady chain of things going awfully wrong. And somehow, it just all added up and made me feel really down when I was cycling in the middle of the roads, nearly bonking out from exhaustion. On a bicycle with headset bearings that had just started to show signs of real failure. Failure, it defines every aspect of my life these days.

People succeed. People fail. Without failures, there's no way to define success. I just gotta get it through into my thick cranial vault eh?

Such as how people walk in and out of the driving centre everyday. The whole gamut of expressions greet you.

The cheerful dude who had just passed his driving test.

The disappointed lady who had just failed hers. A satisfied grin on someone who had her confidence boosted several notches after doing well in her practice lesson.

And the downcast look of someone who had a bad day at work, only to mess up his practice lesson at the end of the day.

The joy of success and the pain of failure makes life, life - isn't it?

No comments: