Monday, February 18, 2008

What A Mess

So, I haven't blogged for a while.

Suffice to say, the mantra 'no news is good news' held true up to Friday. School was alright. Learnt quite alot of stuff, got things done.

Friday - met up with Mystery Girl and Richie. Orchard on Friday evening is, like always, retardedly crowded. And sad. But still we managed to entertain ourselves, even though it was way too late for a movie after spending forever wrangling through the crowds to get some real dinner.

Photo is unglam. Oh fick it, I'll just post it anyways.



==

And obviously, I needed a haircut. So I got one on Saturday, at the newish place near my home. Turns out to be pretty sweet in the end. She got everything spot-on so that once I style it with wax, it looks great instantly. I think I'm going back there in future.



Hung out with schoolmates in the afternoon. They're a lovely bunch. My friend still hasn't uploaded the photos, but it was a blast! Turns out, Breeks Marina Square is way better than the one in Orchard.



But. Bad news.

Phone call. Uncle passed away. I've always felt that it was quite dangerous, him being depressed AND living on such a high floor.

Turns out, what everyone worries about but never talks about happened.

Made a couple of phone calls, assessed the situation and decided it was better I not join my parents at the uncle's place. Intruding into emotional, grieving scenes might be uncomfortable for everyone. Decided to hang around with my friends, rather than slinking off suddenly and wallowing in shock.

I'm not that very close to him. But when something like this happens, there's the lingering doubt. Could I have done something? Was it something I did or said that led to a convoluted sequence of events that led to the eventual tragedy? I felt guilty about not talking much to him the last time I was at his home. Felt guilty about the craziest of things - like how I might have accidentally messed up the floor of his place the other day. It's illogical, but who can deny the feelings we feel?

At that time, my mind was all: Unnatural death means post mortem. An autopsy. He's gonna go through that. I've seen an autopsy and I know it's going to be ugly.

But life has to go on. And it does. I was going to go on having fun hanging around my friends, because life goes on. I'm not a man of mourning and the neverending quest to seek closure. Things simply happen and we just gotta move on.

==


Traditional Chinese funeral rites. Pardon me. But I think they're fucked up. They go against every thing I believe in.

I believe in accepting what had happened, then moving on with life. Traditions insist that family and relatives drop everything they do - school, work, whatever - just to sit at cheap wooden tables whiling the time away around the deceased's coffin for days - and nights - and overnights.

And the old-fashioned Chinese never miss any opportunity to show off their wealth/concern/whatever, and they all compete to hold grander-than-thou funerals.

And joss paper burnt my deceased uncle's daughter's leg quite badly. As if losing a father ain't bad enough. The living shouldn't get hurt for the rituals of the dead. It's absurd.

What purpose is there to all these hurt?

It's silly. A man has died - It's a trying time for the family. Why make it so much harder than it should be?

==

For the record. If any cataclysmic tragedy occurs to myself. Please. I don't want a fucking funeral. Or any rites done on me or for me. Please don't desecrate the sanctity of my death.

2 comments: